Trust.

What Is Trust?
Honestly I Am Trying To Figure Out What It Is. I Have Put So Much Trust In Certain Situations, And Relationships, I Cant Give Anymore Out. I Feel As Though Im Undecisive With Alot Of Wants.I Always Tell Every Guy Not To Trust Me, Cause Honestly I Dont Care If I Hurt Them. They Have Hurt Me And Never Cared. I Wonder If What I Want Is Even Here? I Wonder If I Would Ever Feel Real Ass Love,Or Even A Real Solid Relationship. Im Lost In My Player Ways, And No One Can Pull Me Out. I Dont Want To Be a Player. Nor Did I Want To Get Played MySelf. "Play The Game Like A Man Or Get Played Like A Bitch" Numerous Times I Have Been The "Bitch" And Even More Times The "Man" Ive Been In Three Realtionships, With Guys I Truely Care About. I Tried My Best With The First One. Never Lied Or Cheated. He Always Lied, Cheated And Hit Me. Buh Yet I Stuck Around. Finally He Broke Uhp With Me. It Took Me Over A Year To Get Over Him. I Met The Second March 26 2010. He Was Someone I Could See Myself With Forever. We Had Big Plans! Buh Little Did I Know What I Was Getting Into Would Soon Fall. All I Am Going To Say Is He Never Stuck Uhp For Me. Now The Last Is More Then A Boy. He Was EVERYTHING. It Started 8th Grade Year, And I Dont Think It Will End. To Be Quite Honest, The First And Last Boy Made Me Turn Into A Player. They Both Made Me Cry. So Much I Could Make Another Lake Tahoe. Unfortunality The Second Boy Had To Suffer With Who I Was At The Time. I Pick And Chose Between Two. I Aint Gunna Lie. I Love Both. And Sometimes I Wish I Could Combine Them. I Need To Find Myself Before I Get In Another Relationship. I Have To Step Out Of This Player I Am, And Come Back To The Real Me, So I Can Give A Person A Shot Without Hurting Them. I Know I Have Been A Liar, A Cheater, And I Am Not Proud Of It. It Reminds Me Of My Dad..I Dont Want To Be Himm. I Fall To Quick, And Say "I Love You" Without Meaning It In The Way It Should Be Used. I Cant Be This Person Anymore. I Cant Hurt Someone Else, Cause In The End Im Hurting Myself. I Will Change My Ways. Always Be Real, And Take My Time. It Wont Be Easy Buh I Will Overcome This Problem. I Am Done The Player I Am.