Trust.

What Is Trust?
Honestly I Am Trying To Figure Out What It Is. I Have Put So Much Trust In Certain Situations, And Relationships, I Cant Give Anymore Out. I Feel As Though Im Undecisive With Alot Of Wants.I Always Tell Every Guy Not To Trust Me, Cause Honestly I Dont Care If I Hurt Them. They Have Hurt Me And Never Cared. I Wonder If What I Want Is Even Here? I Wonder If I Would Ever Feel Real Ass Love,Or Even A Real Solid Relationship. Im Lost In My Player Ways, And No One Can Pull Me Out. I Dont Want To Be a Player. Nor Did I Want To Get Played MySelf. "Play The Game Like A Man Or Get Played Like A Bitch" Numerous Times I Have Been The "Bitch" And Even More Times The "Man" Ive Been In Three Realtionships, With Guys I Truely Care About. I Tried My Best With The First One. Never Lied Or Cheated. He Always Lied, Cheated And Hit Me. Buh Yet I Stuck Around. Finally He Broke Uhp With Me. It Took Me Over A Year To Get Over Him. I Met The Second March 26 2010. He Was Someone I Could See Myself With Forever. We Had Big Plans! Buh Little Did I Know What I Was Getting Into Would Soon Fall. All I Am Going To Say Is He Never Stuck Uhp For Me. Now The Last Is More Then A Boy. He Was EVERYTHING. It Started 8th Grade Year, And I Dont Think It Will End. To Be Quite Honest, The First And Last Boy Made Me Turn Into A Player. They Both Made Me Cry. So Much I Could Make Another Lake Tahoe. Unfortunality The Second Boy Had To Suffer With Who I Was At The Time. I Pick And Chose Between Two. I Aint Gunna Lie. I Love Both. And Sometimes I Wish I Could Combine Them. I Need To Find Myself Before I Get In Another Relationship. I Have To Step Out Of This Player I Am, And Come Back To The Real Me, So I Can Give A Person A Shot Without Hurting Them. I Know I Have Been A Liar, A Cheater, And I Am Not Proud Of It. It Reminds Me Of My Dad..I Dont Want To Be Himm. I Fall To Quick, And Say "I Love You" Without Meaning It In The Way It Should Be Used. I Cant Be This Person Anymore. I Cant Hurt Someone Else, Cause In The End Im Hurting Myself. I Will Change My Ways. Always Be Real, And Take My Time. It Wont Be Easy Buh I Will Overcome This Problem. I Am Done The Player I Am.

6:15 Am!

It All Started Like This..
"All Im Goona Say Its Funny How You Say We Gonna Work Out But You Stiill Mess With Other Dudes"
"And I Can Say The Same About Yu And Other Girls. Dont Start Asuming Shid Cause Im Sick Of It!"
I Fell Asleep..

I Was Awoke By This Phone Call
"Incoming Call Jesse"
Mmm I Thought To Myself. Is He Really Calling Or Am I Dreaming??
I Answered
"Hello" I Said With My Morning Voice
"Hey" He Said With Hes Soft Buh Manly Voice!
I Was Waiting For Him To Yell And Scream And Just Fight With Me. Instead I Get
"Baby? Did I Wake You Uhp"
"No You Didnt" I Said Shocked
"I Heard Something And I Took It Out On You, I Just Tripped Out, When I Didnt Know If It Was True"
"Well You Gotta Ask Me First, Cause Im Sick Of All This Shid"
"I Know, And Thats Why Im Asking You Now.."
"Buh You Shouldve Before"
"Well What Do You Need From Me?"
"All I Want From You Is To Be Reall"
"Ohk"
"I Didnt Know You Talked To Ashliee?"
"Yeah I Did Before We Started Talking"
"OH."
"Yeah..On Friday, I Heard Wah I Heard And I Asked Her To Hang Out, I Wanted To Get Back At You, Buh I Didnt..I Felt Quilty."
"Its Ok. Next Time Just Ask"
"Ok I Love You"
"I Love You To"
We Hung Uhp. Then I Noticed I Had Texts. I Looked At Them And Wah I Saw Changed My Mind About Everything..
"You Know Im Here For You And I Will Be Here! And Yeah I Did Talk To Another Female For About A Day And That Was When I Heard You Were Still With Jermaine."
"But I Only Did It To Get Back At You. Yea I Do Love You Jaz, And I Do Want Something With You But We Both Fucking Uhp. So What Do We Do?"

And It Ended Uhp Perfect. Cause I Feel He Is Serious. So Ima Do My Best And He Will Do His:)

Regrets.

i dont have any regrets,except letting you go
i dont have any regrets,except not telling you "i love you"
i dont have any regrets,except not believing in you
i dont have any regrets,except not believing in us.

im hurting inside, cause i know this was a mistakeeeeeee
im hurting inside, cause i know i was wronggg

i wanna cry my eyes out, how could i be so stupid?
uh someone help me, i cant think straight or anything..

Too Latee

"I dont think she understands the sacrifices that I made.Maybe if this bitch had acted right I wouldve stayed
But ive already wasted over half of my life I wouldve laid Down and died for you I no longer cry for you
No more pain bitch you Took me for granted took my heart and ran it straight into the planet Into the dirt I can no longer stand it Now my respect I demand it Imma take control of this relationship Command it, and imma be the boss of you now goddamnit And what I mean is that I will no longer let you control me
So you better hear me out this much you owe me I gave up my life for you, totally devoted to you while ive stayed Paved for all the way this is how I fucking get repaid Look at how I dress fucking baggy sweats, go to work a mess Always in a rush to get back to you I aint heard you yet Not even once say you apreciate me I deserve respect I've done my best to give you nothing less than perfectness And I know that if I end this I'll no longer have nothing left But you keep treating me like a staircase its time to fucking step And I wont be coming back so dont hold your fucking breath You know what youve done no need to go in depth
I told you, youd be sorry if I fucking left Id laugh while you wept Hows it feel now, yeah, funny aint it, you neglected me Did me a favor though my spirit free you've set But a special place for you in my heart I have kept It's unfortunate but its,TOO LATE"
-Eminem

This Is How Im Feeling At This Point. I Cant Find A Better Way To Express It. Eminem Sums it Uhp For Me At This Point.

Get OVER It!!!

Im Done With All The Drama In This World. I Am Who I Am. Im Sorry For Calling You All THose Names. And Im Better Then That. Ima Be The Matture Person. Rewrite It.

Please Dont Look At Me!
Please Dont Talk About Me!
Please Dont Assume Shit!
Please Dont Hate On Something You Cant Have!
You Have No Idea What I Have Been Through With This Certain Someone.
Its More Then Anyone Knows/Ever Wiill Know
You Cant Stop Something So Strong Or Break Something So Real
Im Done With The Drame. Just Leave ME ALONE!

Unthinkable!

This Could Be Something Falling Too Fast, Clearly Rules Don't Apply, Can't Believe That I Just Met You, You Got Me Here, Watching Minutes Pass By, Wondering When To Expect You, There You Go, Is This A Dream? Looking Like.Every Picture That I've Seen Of You.Before, I've Seen It All Before.Now That It's Over, I Should Have Known Better, Than To Think This Is Real And You Could Be Mine.
I Should Have Known Better, Slowed It Down, Cuz I Feel.You Needed Time. But I Kept Thinking.
I Always Seem To Fall For Your Type. I Fell In Love With You And I Havent Got Up. I Say I Want To, And Ill Never Love You Again. Lies. All Lies. I Never Wanna Stop Loving You. I Know We Go Througghh Some Weird Things, Buh I Know You Love Me. I Say You Dont, Buh I Know The Truth.
Im Ready For You, Kill Em All. Im Ready To Start Over. Im Ready To Say Yes. Im Ready To Be Your Girl, And Never Let You Slip Through My Fingers. My Mind Made Up. Im Ready For You. Never Been So Sure. Its All Apart Of My Plan. Lets Shut It Down. Lets Prove Em All Wrongg!
Your The Best I Ever Had I Know That For a Fact. You Say Things You Dont Mean, And Do Things Wrong. You Have A Big Heart And I Wanna Share It Like The Last Slice. We Can Be The Power Couple Of The Future, We Can Run This Town, This World. I Want This Forever. Cause You Hold Me Down Like Noone Has. The Money Aint The Issue, Baby Your So Official:)
I L.O.V.E You, Let Me Tell You Like This: Without You There's No Me. I Can't Continue This Journey Of Life Without You And I Just Say I Just Wanna Let You Know The I Love You So Much And I Put Nothing Above You.
Now Can We Do The U N T H I N K A B L E ? ?